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Do you have an ex who has been hanging around for years or a f*ckboy that’s been messing with your head? What about those people you text when you’re feeling lonely or bored or who you think you might be interested in someday? I call these people the “maybes:” the exes, previous dates, and “it’s complicated” relationships that didn’t work out the first time around, but you keep their number in your phone “just in case” or are hoping something will change.
Another huge mistake that most guys make in dating is chasing women. It’s okay to express your desire for a woman. But if she’s told you she isn’t interested and you keep forcing yourself on her, that’s an unhealthy place to be in. Here’s the thing: Desire isn’t that complicated. When a woman is interested in you, she’ll want you to know. Most likely, she’ll make her own moves on you, even if she won’t say it in words. Hence, doing the long exhausting chase with women is rarely worth it. If she said she doesn’t want you, don’t begin to go in harder. Swallow your pride and move to someone else. Most men make these mistakes unknowingly. Some just fall into them out of insecurity or fear of rejection. Whatever reason it may be, if you’re looking to upgrade your dating life and build a healthy relationship for yourself, stop making these mistakes.
A man that is calm and put together has a unique aura. It’s no wonder why fictional characters like James Bond are portrayed as calm and collected people. A calm man is the opposite of an anxious and needy man. He has mastered himself. A woman can feel safe with him because he has a demeanor that makes you feel like nothing can go wrong with him. He gives you the impression that he’s a man who can handle himself. When he’s in a conversation with a woman, he sits with his shoulders back, looking at the woman straight in the eye. And since we pick up the dominant energy in social interactions, women also feel calm and relaxed around him, making them enjoy his company.
Avoid giving out your number until after the first date: Experts advise users who communicate on dating apps to avoid changing to direct text with their telephone. This is for safety reasons and because there is a high chance the date won’t materialize. Although it isn’t mannerly, the reality is that ghosting happens, and date plans sometimes aren’t finalized, texts are forgotten, or things turn platonic. So, schedule the first date directly on the dating app platform. Once you’ve met in person, and if you feel comfortable and connected, then consider exchanging numbers and/or social media platforms.
Repeat after me: Dating should be fun. It should not feel forced, boring, painful, or sad. If it’s not enjoyable, you’re either putting too much pressure on each date, feeling self-conscious about dating, or focusing on the wrong things. Remember that dating is not intended to have only one outcome. Every experience—whether it’s a date, Tinder conversation, or a few months of dating—brings you closer to clarity.
If you’re unhappy with your dating life, I can guarantee you one thing: You’ve probably fallen into a pattern that is no longer serving you. Some singles like to blame their lack of success on others — “There are no good single men left!” or “I just seem to attract shallow women!” — but the reality is, it’s time to start taking responsibility for your own self-sabotaging habits. It may seem like a fairytale at first. One week in they’re already planning a romantic weekend getaway, and by the third date, they’re uttering those three little words. But here’s the truth: when someone is pushing your relationship to move at warp speed, that’s actually a big red flag.
Look — I get it. Not everyone is into texting. But the reality is that these channels of digital communication have become so prevalent that someone might take it personally if you aren’t getting back to them in a timely manner. So, here’s an opportunity for you to communicate! Tell your dates from the get-go what your communication style is so they can adjust their expectations. For example, you might say, “I’m not big on texting, except for quick things like solidifying plans, but just so you know I’m always down for a deep chat on the phone!”
How you feel when you are with them is another important factor. If you feel easy, safe and secure effortlessly, it is a green flag. They have created an atmosphere which is safe and feels like home to you where you can discuss everything and anything with them. Everyone is busy with their hectic personal and professional lives, but the one who makes time for you despite being busy is a green flag. If they take time to spend moments with you within their jam-packed schedule, then this is a green sign that they are the one who cares for you and loves you.
Do…put effort in to find out what you need from your date. That way you will know whether it’s worth pursuing things further. Bring up topics important to you casually in conversation and see how your date responds. Don’t…take too long from matching and messaging to long phone calls and meeting for the first date. Things can get interpreted very differently in messages and that’s why having a conversation over the phone or in person is better. Don’t take too long to get to that point.